By Gwen on Saturday, June 03, 2000 - 12:51 pm:

Sorry I can't email you but you haven't given your email address so this will have to be an open letter. You say you were just about off the planet when you were
prescribed amitriptyline. the potential side effects do include excitement and confusion so this is possibly what happened to you. There are many other
anti-depressants to chose from. Don't give up just because one didn't work. I know some people say you should let nature work itself through a depression. Well,
this is true up to a point. I wouldn't reccommend anyone ruch out to their doctor just because they are having a "blue" period but if you are down for more than a
couple of weeks then you should certainly consider a course of ADs at least to get you to a state where you can function rationally again and start making some
decisions about life direction and priorities. I know I harp on a lot about prioritising ones life but when you have chronic pain it IS debilitating and depressing. Sort
out what are the important things in your life, do them and discard all the surplus until you feel able to cope with it. For a long time now I have only done what I
term "maintenance housekeeping". Anything above eye-level or that can have a door closed on it doesn't need cleaning! If you don't feel up to dusting one day, then
don't. It's not going to run away and if people judge you more on clean surfaces than who you are, well that's their problem. If anyone in my family dares compalin
about something not being done I always offer to show them how so they can do it next time. Maybe I can sum it up as DO what you have to, DELEGATE as much
as possible and DISCARD what doesn't need to be done. Perhaps also add, be DIRECT about how you feel. "I am going to lie down because my back aches" or "I
haven't cooked dinner because I'm too sore to stand for very long" I tell people I'm not looking for sympathy and I'm not apologising for being unable to do
something. They just have to accept that, as Joan Baez says, "Some days are diamonds, some days are dust"
This is getting written while I'm going through a positive spell and feeling reasonably good about myself despite the aches and pains but I had a spell of depression
that lasted about three years. Never bad enough to be hospitalised but I gave my family a pretty rough time. I have found Proxac suits me pretty well, with minimal
side effects. The worst I've experienced are dry mouth and some insomnia but that settled when I swapped my dose from pm to am. I hope this helps you. Feel free
to email me anytime. Gwen

By Andrea on Saturday, June 03, 2000 - 12:52 pm:

Dear Gwen

Thank you for your open letter, and your support. I do appreciate everything you say but I still find it very hard to take it on board. And here's my e-mail address.

Regards - Andrea